Clarky’s Comments. Rd 4 Legends Match report.


Round 4 vs Melbourne

In the afterglow of the Royal Wedding and as Harry and Meagan snuggled up with the corgis… across the other side of the world the Raiders were primed to take on Melbourne at home at the Dome.

As English royalty slept, our football royalty donned the ceremonial Raider jumper and as the trumpets sounded and as Royal things go…the Raiders took the field. This was our Trafalgar.

There was Sir Knuckles of Milan (not really a Royal Duchy but Knuckles of Sussex just doesn’t cut it) There too was The Duke of Rossco, Colin of Fewster, The Prince of Tall – Sir Cheezel, The Duke and Duchess of Small – Prince Lenny and Princess Gooch. There was, leading the proud brigade, Sir Gabe of the Brigade, followed by He-Who-Needs-A-Mention. And numerous others who also get no mention.

There was Leo of Leaping, The Duke of Goals – Smithy, the new knight in our quest, Sir He-Who-Is-Without-Nickname, Steve, the Earl of Whiskey, Viscount Stevens (vi-COUNT get it…the treasurer..), Bright Boots Dazza .

There was Riddle the Enchanter, and Slugga-The-Not-So-Fast in contrast with to the ageless Squire Tug.

The Royal bridesmaids were in attendance too, Fluffy The-Not-So-Great-at Attending-Training and the aptly named Cousin-of-the-Dynesv, Cuz.

A hard fought even encounter all day. Solid tackling and never more than a few goals in it. Sir Knuckles of Milan got us off to a start with the Duke of Goals chiming in with goals on the siren to keep us in the hunt.

The Prince of Small did a rib in the first quarter but battled on, a few points in it at half time and the Raiders had to hang in there. High scoring was the order of the day with Melbourne at one stage 12.1.

Last quarter and it was the battle of the backlines. Both sides defending until scores were level at 73 a piece. If this was the battle of Trafalgar then we were Nelson. Except that Nelson won. So we were the other guy,

Pierre-Charles-Jean-Baptiste-Silvestre de Villeneuve.

Melbourne went forward in the dying seconds and launched an awkward kick from the pocket. Robbie of Criv chased, dived, and both he and ball sailed through the goals much like one of Nelson’s cannon balls would split the mast of a French Frigate. It was up to Fluffy The Bridesmaid, now named,

He-Who-Doesn’t-Train-And-Is-Now-The-Goal Umpire to adjudicate, and as a true loyal royal Raider…went down the honesty trail and called it a goal.

Raiders down by 6 points. Siren. Loss. Tears..

So that was our Trafalgar, except we were the French. If Melbourne were Horatio Nelson then we were the French commander, Pierre Silvestre de Villeneuve.

Nelson’s ship was called Victory. Stupid history.


Peninsula Raiders 11.7.73 lost to Melbourne 13.1.79 Goals:  C Smith 3, Turner 2, Twyford 2, Inglese, Mauerhofer, Hare, Fewster. Best:  Mete, Peasley, Hosking, C Smith, Twyford, Inglese.


If anyone has found a cheek bone and a tooth in the forward pocket, Woolworths end of the ground, can I have them back.

The man at the hospital needs it Thursday.

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