Clarkey’s Comments. Legends Match Report. Rd 3, 2019.


Raiders Legends V Waverley Round 3

We’ve all heard of the International Date line. It’s where one day in one country is another day in a different country even though it’s the same day for the planet. How this works is irrelevant but we have to appreciate that Saturday was Star Wars day (May the Fourth be with you) and Sunday was being may 5th. But not to see an opportunity to milk Star Wars day for all it’s worth, it dawned on me that in the Cayman Islands Sunday was Saturday and the 5th was the 4th although it was at night. None the less, we played on May 4th.

A not so long time ago at a footy ground far far away..

After the Raiders Rebel Alliance assembled at our secret hidden base in Mornington we made the jump to hyperspace and landed in Waverley/Chadstone/Clayton. In the shadows of the Chinese Christian Church, our small but ageing band were briefed on the mission at hand..

With team sheet in hand George Lucas read out the side to a bemused group of retards who had no idea what the theme for today was. Honestly, I was stunned when no one got the similarities between Star Wars characters and Raider Players.

And so…

Chewbacca – Cheezel (tall and wookie like)

C3PO – Rossco (exceedingly neat and organised)

R2D2 – Gooch (small, shiny, and nimble)

Yoda – Slugga (footy skills run deep in this one they do. Hmm!)

ObiWan – Rugby (the wise one)

Hans Solo – Razor and Baz (devilishly good looking pilots)

Ewok – Rock Doctor (cute and cuddly)

Jar Jar Binks – Vinnie (annoying alien)

Princess Leia – Noel (no brainer)

Yoda’s Dad – Dead Kev (ancient wise one)

Luke Skywalker – Terry (gallant leader)

Nameless Droid being endlessly tortured – Live Kev

General Akbar – Big Whisky (it’s a trap)

MIllenium Falcon – Tugboat (fastest ship in the fleet..he did the Kessel run in 5 parsecs!!)

Land Speeder – Peter Daniels

George Lucas – Clarky (the director!)

A Tribble – Fluffy (yes I know Tribbles are from Star Trek, a completely different franchise, but if the cap fits…)

Stormtroopers 1,2,3 – Bench and assorted other dudes who thankfully helped out)

Medical Droid _ Paula (thanks doc)

Anyway it turns out that this shit distracted the boys so much that we handed up a 6 goal lead to the opposition by quarter time. We never recovered but held our heads up for the remaining 3 quarters to go down eventually by 10 goals. Doesn’t sound great but we’ll regroup to fight another day. May the Force be with us.

Best for us were The MIllenium Falcon, Chewbacca, Hans Solo 1, Hans Solo 2, C3PO,

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